When are you more successful: when you’re kind to yourself, or hard on yourself? (Part 1)
Recently I met Philipp Röthlin, a sports psychologist from Magglingen, and had such a fascinating conversation with him that I absolutely have to tell you about it.
Philipp works with top athletes, but is currently involved in a research project on an issue that could be of significance far beyond the realm of sport: When are you more successful – if you are kind to yourself or hard on yourself?
Before I spoke to Philipp, I thought I knew the answer. I thought I would never have got this far if I hadn’t been really hard on myself over and over again, torturing myself, scolding myself, doing myself down. That’s what I told Philipp. He listened to me – and then asked me if I had ever heard of self-compassion.
I hadn’t.
Self-compassion is an established concept in clinical psychology that deals with how people treat themselves. Philip told me: “We know that being friendly and compassionate with yourself is good for our mental health and well-being. However, athletes in particular tend to be sceptical about this realisation, just like you. They think that if they’re kind to themselves, they can’t be successful anymore. They say: “I need the self-criticism in order to perform or to get through the training.”
I said I didn’t know many top athletes who were kind to themselves. Philipp said that this was to some extent due to the sports system: “The way people treat you is how you will also treat yourself at some point. But don’t get me wrong: self-compassion does not mean that you should be satisfied with doing half the training. It is about a self-supporting attitude, but combined with the idea of fulfilling one’s own potential.”
Now I was hooked. I wanted to know more. I’ll tell you what else I learned from Philipp in my next blog post.
